The Stepford wives are alive and living in Fort Wayne!

 I used to work for a company in Indiana that makes and sells quilted cotton handbags. Yep, that one!  I worked there for almost 6 years. When I sent my resume and flowery cover letter to them, I had no real confidence that they would call me for an interview, much less hire me; I was merely fulfilling my weekly obligation to the state. At that time, I had been out of work for about 3 months and had reached the point of looking through the Yellow Pages for places to work.  "Oh, I love to rearrange my furniture and buy new knick knacks.....I'll apply to this interior design company, even though I have no formal training!"  I would look through the book page by page and put little sticky flags on the pages whenI found places where it might be fun to work.  I sent my resume to multiple interior design companies, the quilted bag place and several others.

Long story short, I was hired by the quilted bag place and began my new job the first week of January, after a fabulous trip to Florida for Christmas, with my family.  I was beyond thrilled that I was going to be working for this famous company.  Surely my days would be filled with sweetness, fun, rainbows and unicorns!  I felt as though I had found the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.

As I said, I started in January, so there were still Christmas presents rolling in for our department. Gifts came from our retailers, Sales Consultants, as well as from other internal departments.  Every day, something new was coming in.  Dish towels from Mr. Tablecovering (Name changed!), chocolates from Topay's (Name changed!), catered lunch from the Eastern area Sales Consultants and chair massages from the internal Sales Department.  For the first week I was there, I would call my mother every night to say "You'll never guess what happened today!" and then I would tell her what fabulous goodies came our way that day.  Everyone that I worked with was so nice, and they were all so patient and kind while training me.  No one ever said anything bad or off color....ever.  I would tell my mom that these ladies wouldn't say shit if they had a mouth full of it!  I had previously spent 16 years working at the corporate office of North American Van Lines and was definitely not used to such a thing!  Now, I had been known to swear a little at NAVL and slam a phone down now and then.  It was accepted and standard operating practice in that environment.  During my early months at the quilted handbag place, I decided that I should say as little as possible, so that nothing would slip out and permanently burn any delicate eardrums or irreparably scar anyone in any way.

I had never before worked at a place where microwave popcorn is poured into a large plastic bowl lined with a flowered, cotton napkin.....always, where plastic pitchers of water must also be adorned with a flowery, cotton napkin.....always.  The bathrooms were amazingly decorated and looked just like some executives offices, with the exception of a sink and toilet out in the open. Some even had a nice little table that you could probably pull up and use as a desk, if you needed to be seated for a while and wanted to get some work done!  They were wallpapered, with coordinating wool rugs and upholstered chairs and lamps.  Yes, I said lamps!  These bathrooms were decorated better than my living room. However, this should have been my first clue. Even though they look nice, there's still always some shit in the bathroom!!!

Sure, there were 1 or 2 reps that held the universal workplace title as Her Royal Bitchiness.  After all, every work place has at least 1 and most often they run in packs.  Sort of like wolves!  It took a while for me to figure out their identities, since everyone projected such a sticky sweet exterior that even the flies couldn't tell if they were circling shit or honey.

Now, anyone who knows me will tell you that I'm not THAT kind of person; the kind that fakes enthusiasm, pretends to like people and then not only stabs them in the back with a colorful, flowery pen (That matches their cotton quilted handbag!), but then uses the pen to write them a nice note for their birthday. (On colorful, flowery stationery which also matches their handbag!)  It became a race to see how long I could hold out and hold my tongue in check.

Yes, it was turning into a very unusual situation. In fact, on more than one occasion, I described it to outsiders as The Stepford Wives....taking place in the colorful city of Sneera Badly!  (Get it?!! LOL)Believe it or not, not everything in the city of Sneera Badly is as nice as it seems from outside the city limits. I tell you these things not to burst your bubble or disillusion you; I tell you these things because I feel they need to be said (written) out loud....because I can't stand holding them in any longer.  I have many stories to tell you about this place, Sneera Badly. Instead of finding the pot of gold at the end of my rainbow, I found something very different. Don't get me wrong, the perks are good, no question about it; and the pay is good as well. But for me, those things just weren't enough to make up for all of the not-so-nice stuff that was happening inside those pretty, flowery walls. Nowhere close!